People with herpes should wear stickers.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
