matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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