That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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