So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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