Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
