This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
