i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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