I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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