Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
