I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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