Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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