You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
