summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
