ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
