grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Randomize
