HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
