i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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