I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just gargled with NyQuil
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
