i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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