You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
