So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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