My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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