i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
