So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
even my farts smell like vagina
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
