I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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