ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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