i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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