dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
