Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
