It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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