I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
