Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
