Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
