we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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