You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
