Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
