I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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