Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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