no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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