seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
