I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
