so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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