so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
