You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
