Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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