Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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