You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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