Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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