i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
