Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
