dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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