can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
