you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
